Frog, this is hard!

Hello Ladies. My name is Eric and I have blog-jacked Krafty Kat for today. Why, you might ask, has the 200 lb man-child that lives with Kat taken over her scrapbooking blog? I propose a three part answer. First, she left her account unattended and men, like children and household pets will always find a way get into that one place that is exactly where you don’t want them to be. It’s a natural and inherent talent that I use to earn food all the time; promising me a snack is the easiest way to get me off the good couch in the sitting room. Second, Kat has run into a motivational block. Scrapper’s block if you will. Third, I happen to play a larger than normal part in this week’s Krafty Kat update.

I’ve been a part of the digital scrap booking community for several years now. I’ve made appearances on this blog exclusively as a subject for Kat’s scrapping. If you look through her work, you might notice an overly large dork, shaved almost bald, who has the inability to take anything seriously or make a ‘normal’ face in pictures. That Neanderthal is me.

However, this week Kat had some Scrapper’s block. Her creative side was just not in tune. I of course immediately noticed this because when she’s not scrapping, things are off. I wasn’t getting my usual walks, I was taking harder than normal shots up side my head for my foul mouth, and her tolerance for my adolescent shenanigans was down. When Mama ain’t scrapping, Mama ain’t happy; and when Mama ain’t happy, nobody is happy. So, for my own well being, this needed to change.

I am an ardent supporter of Kat’s scrap habit. Scrap gear makes an appearance at every gift giving holiday; I love that I always have it as a go to gift. I also try and support by holding still for pictures in just about every time and place. I also always make the appropriate ‘oooh’ and ‘ahhhh’ noises over her pages, though in all honesty I wouldn’t know artistic if it rode over me on an elephant. Things in the house had reached critical ‘not happiness’ though this weekend because that girl needed to scrap. So, I did what any man in my position would do. I put on my frog hat, pulled on my frog slippers, took her by the hand, led her into the scrapbooking room, and we scrapped. Yes, I said that correctly. WE scrapped.

A quick look back through her work will also likely give you an idea of what I do for a living. Creativity is about as far from natural for me as it possibly gets. I don’t do anything well, but when it comes to arts and crafts, I never moved beyond gluing Popsicle sticks together and eating crayons. But, you do what you have to do. So, I sat her down in the scrapbooking room and told her to teach me to scrapbook.

Turns out, scrapbooking is fairly simple. Also turns out, there is a world of difference between simple and easy. In fact, the chasm between simple and easy is so wide I couldn’t even see the other side. She sat me down and showed me a few basics. I learned basic page layout, embellishments, and lettering. I learned that there are more tools of the trade for scrapbooking then there are for auto maintenance, and I thought that had an obscene amount of specialty tools. As I said, the concept was simple. Pick a picture, a theme, and a concept and put together a page. In practice, it was the hardest simple thing I had EVER done. Ladies, before I understood, I thought what you did was awesome. Now I’m awestruck looking at what you do. Thank you for making the world a brighter place, because people like me could never do what you do.

So after giving me the basics, Kat gave me an old layout of hers. I specifically asked for an old one, because her current work is more advanced then I could even conceivably copy. So, using her template, I set out to create a page. First, I picked a picture. That was almost easy. She has a whole library of pictures, and I knew that I wanted her to be the subject and I wanted it to be funny. She’s posted enough embarrassing pictures of me over the years that a little payback was in order. Now we’ll see if I still think picking that picture was a good idea when I wake up on the couch tomorrow morning, but I digress. I also wanted a picture of her, because I’ve noticed something as I’ve looked through a few of your blogs. The amazing people who create these works of art are almost never the subject of their pages. Kat is the same way. The only time she is in any of her pages, is when she is in one with someone else. There are almost none of her alone. So, as you can see, I picked a picture of her.

The rest came fairly easily. The irreverent title and slapstick theme were derived from the picture. I used her page as a template, then added a little of my own free styling. While I worked, I noticed that my evil plan was also working. Kat was next to me scrapping away. She would check in on me from time to time, pausing in her own work only to cringe at my color choices. I can’t match colors to save my life, as you can see. I thought it was perfectly acceptable to wear brown socks with black shoes until I met Kat. I still can’t see how they ‘clash,’ but at least now I know that trying to leave the house in that combination will only earn me a trip back to the dresser.

Through perseverance, I made it through my very first page and she got back into her creative zone. I have to say I learned a lot. I learned that even my lucky frog hat can’t help me when I’m that far out of my depth. I learned that placing things in strait lines is darn near impossible. I learned that you always find the one thing that’s perfect seconds after gluing on something that at the time was ‘good enough.’ I learned an even greater appreciation for what you all do and how amazing and difficult it truly is.

And now, with a very confusing mixture of embarrassment, pride, shame, and excitement I give you Eric’s very first Scrapbook Page…be nice.





Don’t worry, Kat will be returning for the next post. And if her next page is a picture of me locked outside the house, you’ll know she didn’t think me posting on her blog was as funny as I did.